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Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart...Dear Mrs. Harris,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.5.. She turned around and saw the look on my face. As she spoke she reached into my pants and started stroking my dick."Oh, don't be mad, honey, but I may have gotten a bit carried away. When I got in the hot tub, Ed was joking that there wasn't enough space in the hot tub for us all to sit down, and that I should sit in his lap. So I got up on his lap to give everyone some more room. He started playing with my boobs, and it really turned me on, so I let him feel me up for a bit. Then he pushed me higher on his lap and I found out that he wasn't wearing anything, but before I could do anything, he pushed his huge thing up my cooch!" He started pumping it in and out and it felt really good, so I let him keep it inside me. I think the other guys knew what was going on, too, because everyone in the hot tub was looking at us and staring. I got a little embarrassed and thought about stopping, but just then he squirted his stuff in me. You're not mad, are you? I didn't plan on him cumming.
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